jam time

If you happen to have scientists for friends and about 10 pounds of free grapes, I highly suggest making white grape jam. Real grape jam tastes like summer and sunshine, not purple.

What you need:

mason jars
a lot of grapes picked off the stem
juice of 1 lemon

cheap vodka
a lighter

What you do:

Put a plate in the fridge. Throw grapes into a big pot and mash them up. Add lemon juice. Cook over medium high heat for a long time, stirring continuously. Will bubble and hiss and threaten to burn your delicate arms.

If you are a food scientist, consider using a candy thermometer and pH paper to deduce whether any sporulating microorganisms will survive your brew.

When your jam mixture seems jam-like, drop a spoonful onto that plate you put in the fridge, chill it for a few minutes, then see if the jam is the consistency you want. If it's too runny, cook down longer.

When it's ready, pour into mason jars, screw on lids, and submerge in pot of boiling water for 30 minutes. Let sit overnight and see if your jars seal. Keep jam refrigerated.

**Sanitation Bonus Feature!**

Did you know that if you buy Taaka in $2 quantities it actually comes in a glass bottle? Fancy.

Wash out jars with hot water and soap, then fill with a dash of vodka and light on fire. Dim the lights for maximum mood effect.